Intro to Networking
You enter a crowded room. It’s a professional party for all of your colleagues at work as well as other Architects in the community. Only problem—you’re all thumbs when it comes to putting yourself out there.
As it turns out, you’re not alone. Networking is scary, and for many, seemingly impossible to do well.
Q: What is networking exactly? How can we best create professional connections that are strong and long-lasting.
Networking is the process of connecting with others in order to develop relationships and contacts.
Interactions like these are often more successful between those who share similar interests, values, and beliefs. Because of its social nature, networking should be one of the most enjoyable activities we take part in as professionals.
Does this sound familiar? Well, it should.
When you hang out with your friends, aren’t you doing the same thing?
Sure, the context is a little less formal, but you’re still interacting with people whose company you enjoy. This will, in turn, make the connection between you stronger.
That’s not to say that you need to network with everyone or that you’re even supposed to get along with everyone. In fact, networking within professional circles can be about a variety of things beyond individual connections.
You might be fairly introverted, practicing your communication skills. You could be looking to support other from within your community, searching for ways to help.
So what’s the Big Deal?
Networking can be done well and it can be done ever so poorly. I take the connections I make in my personal life and career very seriously. That’s because I’ve seen the positive energy those relationships can create for everything I do and strive to be in the future.
Ok. That’s all well and good, but let’s look at it through a different lens.
Spaghetti Westerns
Have you ever seen a Spaghetti Western before?
They were low-budget, ‘Western’-genre films from the 1960s. They were often produced and directed by Italian creatives. Hundreds of these movies were made in a very short period of time and they became powerful vehicles to launch the careers of several Hollywood stars.
You may have heard of a relatively unknown actor from these films. He goes by “Clint Eastwood.”
One of these Spaghetti Westerns in particular, “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly,” is often considered by critics to be the most influential film of the genre.
I bet you’ve heard that title before, even if you didn’t know the context prior reading this essay. It’s the film that is credited with propelling Clint Eastwood into stardom.
At this point, you’re likely asking yourself, “Ok, but what in the heck does that have to do with Networking, Mike!?”
A fair question to be sure. Let’s break it down, shall we?
“The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” is the perfect foil for what we’re talking about today.
The film centers around the simple idea that there’s a treasure buried out in the world and each of the main characters (e.g. “The Good”, “The Bad”, and “The Ugly”) are in a race to find it first. Each has a well developed reason for pursing the treasure and each has a set of skills to make it happen.
When it comes to networking, I think of three types of personalities. Can you guess what they are?
Yep. I’m not even going to say it. I think you can guess where we’re going here.
Let’s talk about each of these archetypes and the forms of networking results you can expect.
The Bad
Even though the title of the film starts with “The Good,” I’m actually going to start this discussion off with “The Bad.” (We’ll save the best for last)
Military tactician, Sun Tzu once wrote in “The Art of War,” “Know thy self, know thy enemy.” And the greatest enemy (or “The Bad”) against networking is apathy.
I’ve seen so many of my friends and peers avoid networking because it either doesn’t come naturally to them or because they don’t want to put themselves out there.
The problem with that mentality is that one day, they will inevitably wake up and want to change their circumstances for one reason or another. Sometimes it’s to change a job. Sometimes it’s to get a passion project up and running.
Either way, their connections won’t be as strong as they could have been if they had put it in the effort to network. They didn’t reach out and make themselves known to others, so now no one knows who they are.
There’s nothing worse than putting a lot of effort into your career, only to find that no one cares.
If you surround yourself with people who are engaged with the work you’re doing and are genuinely interested in your success, you’ll be far more likely to succeed in this world.
Make no mistake—architecture is a team sport.
The Effects of Apathy
So what does apathy look like in networking? Simply put, it looks like someone phoned it in.
It looks like a LinkedIn profile that’s been barely started. It looks like an attending an event only to see someone on their phone the entire time. It looks like coasting.
Now, let’s be clear. I don’t mean that someone who doesn’t network isn’t doing their job to the best of their ability. Networking isn’t the same as on-the-job production.
Instead, I mean that networking can expand the impact of your work, your personality, your voice, and your ideas. Networking provides an opportunity to share them with so many more people beyond those in your immediate circle of peers.
Think of it this way.
You’re stuck in a job that you don’t like and that you wish you could get out of. What do you do?
If you’ve built strong connections over time, you might be able to reach out to one those connections and ask if another firm is hiring. Or even easier, you might ask for some advice for what to do next.
If you haven’t made those connections, you may spin and spin and spin at a job that you begin to resent and ultimately hate. Don’t hate your job.
The Ugly
You know how I said the greatest enemy of networking is apathy? I’m sure you do.
Perhaps I spoke too soon. It’s possible that the greatest enemy to networking is actually negligence.
I’m about to tell you a story networking that is truly “Ugly.” I would say, “Shield your eyes for a moment,” but then you’d obviously not be able to read the story. I apologize ahead of time.
As you may be aware, I’m a fan of LinkedIn.
I like it because it’s fairly tame in comparison to the rest of the social media titans. It’s an even playing field for all professionals to come together, network, make connections, and share ideas.
I’ve helped several of friends and connections upon request with a testimonial here or a resume review there. But one time, someone asked me to do something that frankly dumbfounded me.
You Want Me to Do What?!
One morning I was opening up my email and noticed that someone had sent me a direct message on LinkedIn. Not too out of the ordinary... yet. I took a moment to open up the application and read the note. Then my jaw slowly started to drop to the floor.
One of the cardinal rules of networking is to never ask for something without at least starting a conversation first.
I sometimes get messages politely asking me to pass along a resume or a portfolio for a potential job opening at my firm. But, in fairness, I usually either know that person already or have had a conversation with them prior to the request about their interests.
I don’t just recommend someone without context and out of the blue.
The message I received asked for just that. However, that wasn’t the real reason it bothered me. Sometimes I can understand that an inexperienced person may not recognize the rules I’ve described here.
But this, this I just can’t get past—
The person who requesting my help, not only asked for something, but was clearly asking the wrong person entirely.
A simple review of my LinkedIn profile, even if you didn’t know me, would immediately queue you into the fact that: One—I have never worked at the architecture firm Gensler and Two—that I don’t work there currently either. That’s not to say I never would, just that I don’t have any direct affiliation with them other than respecting their fantastic work and their positive influence on the profession.
I had never really been mad at the direct messages I’ve received via LinkedIn until this moment. “The Ugly” had presented itself and it was hideous.
It was a clear and profound sense of disrespect that I felt as I realized that, not only had the person reaching out to me missed the fact that I didn’t work at the firm they were trying to get an interview at, but that I also don’t even live in the same city as where the person was trying to work either.
I didn’t know them well.
I can forgive a few things professionally, but don’t ask me to help you with such a careless, neglectful request. The impression I was left with was one that I will have of this person for the rest of my professional career.
Even though I may or may not have had any influence over the results (and who knows, maybe this person did end up working at Gensler), it was one of the few times in my career when I’ve been truly appalled by someone's lack of respect.
How long would it have taken to confirm where I worked?
How long would it have taken to say “Hello” before asking me to push their portfolio forward?
I may have been able to help this person indirectly by reaching out to my own contacts and friends at Gensler, but I felt professionally betrayed. Oh, yeah. I also replied to the message.
I felt that, at the very least, I needed to acknowledge what had happened. My answer was clear and to the point.
Maybe next time that person will think twice about doing that to someone who could have helped.
The Good
As promised, ‘The Good’ of Networking is the best to abide by and I’ve saved it here for last.
I may not have made every career move perfectly, but I do believe that I’ve learned a lot from networking well.
If “The Bad” is apathy and “The Bad” is negligence, then “The Good” is positive action. You need to be active in, not only your professional circles, but also the bonds that hold your community together.
It’s interesting when I think back on my own experiences with networking because I’ve rarely seen any of them as pure “networking.” In fact, networking works best when you’re not trying to network at all.
In 2011, I began a six-year posting on the Board of Directors for the Buffalo/WNY Chapter of American Institute of Architects (AIA Buffalo/WNY). At the time, I just wanted to get involved in any way I could. I wanted to learn the ropes from more experienced Architects in whatever capacity was available to me.
I knew inherently that if I did a good job to help promote the AIA’s mission (by building up recently neglected programming such as the Emerging Professional’s Committee), I could establish myself as someone in the community that others might follow or imitate.
I wasn’t necessarily trying to meet more people, but I knew that connections would naturally grow over time as I helped realize each goal on the Board’s Agenda that I could.
The Good of Networking Manifests in Mysterious Ways
It’s no secret that I’ve always believed in a simple truth - Make your own luck.
When you work hard at something, you do it well, and you do it strategically, you’ll be ready for opportunities that present themselves in your life.
I remember when Shawn Wright was first invited to sit on the Board of Directors. Each year, anywhere from one to three Board Members are cycled off of the Board and new members are brought on for a three-year term.
Shawn had a great aptitude towards business and was soon elevated to the position of Treasurer after accepting a Board Position.
I worked with Shawn for years on several initiatives as Board Members. I continued to build up the programming that the Emerging Professionals Committee was offering for the Chapter. It was a slow, arduous process.
But there was a consistent and positive change that I was making through my efforts.
After a few years, Shawn and I had developed what I would consider a mutual respect for each other. We respected what we were about professionally and who we were as people.
In Mid 2015 (four years after I started my position on the Board of Directors), I had an opportunity to interview with Young + Wright Architectural. I met with, you guessed it, Shawn. We discussed to possibility of me working there full time.
About a week later, I interviewed formally with Shawn and Jerry Young (his firm partner). I brought full-size drawings. I brought a portfolio I slaved over for days. I brought a copy of my latest resume.
You know what’s funny about networking though?
It turns out that after years of Board Meetings, working on AIA projects and helping me put together several of the programming events for the Emerging Professionals, Shawn knew who I was and what I was about.
I didn’t open the portfolio once during the entire interview. I didn’t need the resume.
I just needed to be me, tell my story, and explain why I’d be the best candidate for the job.
I worked for over five and a half years and Young + Wright to prove that right.
Final Thoughts
If you want to get the most out of the connections you have professionally, you have to put in the work.
Consider the following:
The benefits of networking won’t come together all at once. You may not see results for years. For some connections, you may never see the results.
Connect often, provide value to others, help where help is needed, and keep moving forward.
There is a good, a bad, and an ugly way to network.
Don’t be the Bad. Don’t be the Ugly.
Strive for Good. It's best to be the hero of your own story.
You may just find yourself riding into the sunset of the best career you could have ever known.
Additional Resources
(Article) Read This If You Feel Like Professional Networking is Disingenuous // Alyson Garrido
(Article) 10 Reasons Why Networking Is Essential For Your Career // Bianca Miller Cole
(Article) The Importance of Career Networking // Alison Doyle
(Video) An Introvert’s Guide to Networking // TEDxPortland, Rick Turoczy
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