Creative Life Anxiety: How to Find Freedom from Overthinking
Life choices scare the sh!t of us sometimes.
In today’s fast-moving, complicated world, we’re spread thinner than ever.
That makes every move feel like we’re playing 4D chess in a multiverse of infinite possible futures.
Am I making the right long-term decision for my career?
For my family? For myself?
What if I make the wrong decision?
What if I fail?
What if…
What if…
When we start thinking too much about choice, it can hold us back.
Overthinking is a prison of our own design.
And we need a way to break free.
More Choices as We Age
For many Creatives, overthinking becomes more profound over time.
Our autonomy increases as we age. We gain power over the choices we make. We make those choices from our experience and our future goals
When we’re younger, there are more guideposts to keep us moving in one direction. Like bumpers on a bowling alley to help new players hit the pins, they keep us on target.
Childhoods may vary wildly, that’s true. But the average child’s family will make nearly all of their major decisions for their first years of life.
My First Influx of Choices
For me, it was even easier in some ways.
I was fortunate as a kid to know pretty early on what I wanted to do with my life.
First, it was “Mad Scientist.”
Next, it was “Doctor.”
Once I hit High School though, I knew I wanted to be an Architect.
Some choices I made for myself. I wanted to go to a good school and have the best opportunity possible for success later in life. I wanted to live close-ish to home, but far enough away that I had the full “college experience.”
Some choices were made for me. I tried for early acceptance to Cornell and missed the mark. I was accepted into my next choice, Syracuse, which ended up being one of the best experiences of my life.
All of these choices were relatively straightforward.
Be a kid.
Go to school.
Apply to college.
Got to college.
Not crazy choices at all.
Follow the bumpers.
What Do I Do Next?
After graduation though, I felt the full force of choice.
I could go anywhere and do almost anything with my degree. For the first time, I had to make those initial decisions myself. Choice was power and it was anxiety-inducing.
Will my first job affect my entire future?
What kind of job should I look for?
How do I know what to do?
What if I get it all wrong?
Even as a confident, twenty-something grad, I used to spiral out from time to time thinking about what I should do with my future. The bumpers were gone.
15 years later, the choices have become more organic, and honestly, less daunting. But it took time to overcome overthinking.
I had to find my way through.
Why We Overthink
To understand overthinking, we need to know why we overthink.
Fear is a response to an immediate threat.
Anxiety is a response to a future possibility.
You might be afraid of a snake hissing two feet away from where you stand or be afraid of falling off the edge of a cliff. But you’re anxious about the negative scenarios that may or may not happen in the future.
Breaking through the wall of anxiety is the key to freeing ourselves from overthinking.
When we overthink, we’re trying to internalize every possible scenario. Our minds are trying to reduce the possibility of failure through knowledge and understanding.
The problem though—we don’t control the future.
At least, I don’t have that superpower yet.
4 Steps to Reduce Overthinking
The trick to breaking out of overthinking is in these 4 steps.
Simplify the problem -— No matter how complex the problem may be in front of you that you’re overthinking, it can be reduced down to a single question— “What should I do next?” When we simplify, we get rid of all of the fluffy excess that may be clouding the intent of the problem.
Determine your level of control — One of the keystones of Stoic philosophy is the idea that you should only try to control what you can control. For example, the average person doesn’t have control over the News. Worrying about every story that comes out isn’t going to help you. Let it go. On the other hand, you 100% control how you show up every day for your work, your family, your health, and your life. Consistency in how you show up is a powerful tool for ridding yourself of doubt and overthinking.
Imagine who you want to be — If you control the outcome of the problem, think of how your future self might address the problem. Who do you want to be in 1, 5, or 10 years? Would that version of you consider the problem differently? When you try to solve a problem from a different, more objective place, it can take the onus of you at the moment.
Make a decision and let it roll — Will it work out? Who’s to say? In the long run of our lives, it doesn’t matter as long it’s true to who you are. Failure is part of the game. Failure is how we learn. Sometimes leaning into a situation is the best path forward. If it doesn’t work out, you can adjust, get back up, and try again.
Bonus: How To Make Big Decisions with The Deathbed Test
If you’re facing a big decision like say, moving across the world for a job, proposing to your partner, having kids, or something of that level, consider the Deathbed Test.
Imagine you’re lying in your bed. You know you only have a day or even moments to live. You’re reflecting on your life. If you had to make the decision you’re overthinking again, what would you do?
As Dr. Margie Warrell once said, “Looking back people tend to regret far more the chances they didn’t take than those they did.”
Is the chance worth taking?
Does it scare you?
If “Yes,” that’s a good indication you’re less likely to regret it later.
Even if the choice doesn’t pan out as planned, you made the choice most likely to help you grow.
Final Thoughts
Overthinking is a prison of our own design. We overthink because we fear not making the right decision. But is there a “right” decision?
I’d argue there isn’t.
I’ve made mistakes in my life. Far more than I’d care to admit. But those mistakes, those chances I took, made me who I am today. We’re ever-learning, ever-evolving into future selves we shape by our decisions. Overthinking simply delays us from getting to who we want to be sooner.
If you’re thinking too hard about something, give yourself a break.
Treat your life with curiosity. If your decision doesn’t work out, make a better one. You can start over. You can change who you want to be at any moment.
One of my favorite quotes from all of cinema is from Peter O’Toole in Lawrence of Arabia, ”Nothing is written.”
We write our stories every day with each choice we make, but how the story plays out is always up to us. If we don’t like where it’s going, we can write a different ending.
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PS: I overthought the crap out of this post almost the entirety of the time it took to write. I wrote it anyway. Feels far better than if I didn’t write it at all.
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TL; DR
Overthinking comes from the complexity of life
Overthinking is a prison we make for ourselves
Fear is a reaction to a direct threat
Anxiety is a reaction to possible future
We gain more power over choice as we get older
4 Steps to Reduce Overthinking
Simplify the problem
Determine your level of control
Imagine who you want to be
Make a decision
Making Big Decisions with the Deathbed Test
Freedom comes from action
Quote of the Week
Motivation for the days ahead of you.
“How would you go through today if you had one chance to live as if it was the full, final day of your life.”
— Ian Pratt
That's all for now.
Stay creative, my friends—and have a great week!
