No One is Doing it All: How to Let Go of Creative Life Comparisons
The perfect life doesn’t exist.
But the world does everything it can to make us think it does
(and everyone but you is living it).
As people, we’re social creatures. We look to others to understand where we fall in the hierarchy of our community.
The problem?
Everyone is playing the same game.
With the advent of social media, the game is becoming harder to “win.”
The Pressure is Real for Creatives
Whether you're an artist, writer, designer, or any other creative individual, the pressure to stand out amongst our peers can be overwhelming.
Creatives naturally live and breathe subjectivity.
We’re taught the basic rules of our craft. But the amazing work we create from that point on are naturally open for interpretation, critique, and scrutiny.
Why would our lives be any different?
—
Even if we don’t say the feelings out loud, we think things like:
Is my career as good as theirs?
Am I better than them at my job?
Am I as good-looking as them?
Is my life better than theirs?
Am I doing enough?
—
We think we need to be everything and do everything right now. If we aren’t killing it, we’re losing the game. This leads to one of the deadliest traps for creative professionals—comparison anxiety.
Comparing ourselves to other creatives can lead to feelings of self-doubt, insecurity, and even depression. But it’s possible to overcome comparison anxiety and thrive in your own creative journey.
The first step is understanding.
Understanding Comparison Anxiety (with Science!)
Comparison anxiety, also known as social comparison, can be defined as a natural human tendency to evaluate oneself in relation to others.
Since the term was coined by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954, experts in the field have identified three types of social comparison: upward, downward, and lateral.
Upward — comparing oneself to someone who is perceived as better in a particular aspect.
Downward — comparing oneself to someone who is perceived as worse.
Lateral — comparing oneself to someone who is perceived as similar in abilities or attributes.
As Social Psychologist, Kendra Cherry, MSEd notes in her article “Social Comparison in Psychology,”:
People compare themselves to those who are better when they want inspiration to improve, and they compare themselves to those who are worse when they want to feel better about themselves.
While social comparison can sometimes be motivating and inspiring, it can also lead to negative emotions and self-perception. Comparing our lives and ourselves to other people can create feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and even imposter syndrome.
That’s where the anxiety is born from.
We want what they have that we don’t.
We strive for their successes — achievements, skills, recognition, wealth, power, relationships, and family.
But we forget how far we’ve come already.
And we neglect to realize how different our lives are from theirs.
The next step is to understand how Comparison Anxiety affects us.
Effects of Comparison Anxiety on Creative Professionals
Comparison anxiety can have detrimental effects on the mental well-being and professional growth of creative pros. Here are some common effects of comparison anxiety:
Self-Doubt and Insecurity: Constantly comparing oneself to other creative professionals can erode self-confidence and lead to self-doubt. It becomes challenging to recognize and appreciate one's own unique talents and abilities.
Lack of Creativity and Originality: Comparison anxiety can stifle creativity and originality. When focused on what others are doing, it becomes difficult to tap into one's own creative potential and express unique ideas.
Burnout and Overworking: Comparison anxiety can lead to a constant drive to prove oneself and achieve success. This can result in overworking, burnout, and neglecting self-care.
Negative Impact on Mental Health: Comparison anxiety can contribute to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. Constantly comparing oneself to others can create a negative mindset and lower self-esteem.
The next step is to take strategic action.
8 Strategies to Overcome Comparison Anxiety
Overcoming comparison anxiety requires a shift in mindset and the adoption of healthy coping mechanisms. Here are some strategies that creative professionals can implement to overcome comparison anxiety:
1. Embrace Your Uniqueness
Recognize that you have your own set of skills, talents, and experiences that make you unique. Embrace your individuality and focus on cultivating your own style and creative voice. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all definition of success as a creative.
—
2. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude can be a powerful antidote to comparison anxiety.
Take time to reflect on and appreciate your own accomplishments and strengths. Keep a gratitude journal and write down positive memories, achievements, and things you are grateful for in your creative journey.
—
3. Set Realistic Goals
Set realistic and achievable goals that are aligned with your own aspirations and values.
Avoid setting goals based solely on what others have achieved. By focusing on your own progress and growth, you can measure success based on your own standards rather than constantly comparing yourself to others.
—
4. Limit Social Media Consumption
Social media can be a breeding ground for comparison anxiety.
Limit your exposure to social media platforms and be mindful of how it affects your mental well-being. Unfollow accounts that trigger negative emotions and focus on using social media as a source of inspiration rather than comparison.
—
5. Surround Yourself with Supportive Peers
Build a network of supportive peers and mentors who understand your career options and can provide guidance and encouragement.
Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals who uplift and inspire you can help counteract comparison anxiety.
—
6. Focus on Collaboration, Not Competition
Shift your mindset from competition to collaboration.
Instead of viewing other creatives as rivals, see them as potential collaborators and sources of inspiration. Embrace the opportunity to learn from others and share your own knowledge and skills.
—
7. Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion.
Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would extend to a friend. Acknowledge that everyone has their own journey and that setbacks and failures are a natural part of growth.
—
8. Seek Professional Support
If comparison anxiety persists and significantly impacts your mental well-being and creative growth, consider seeking professional support.
A therapist or counselor who specializes in working with creative professionals can provide valuable guidance and strategies to manage comparison anxiety.
No One is Immune to the Green-Eyed Monster
As I started writing this essay, I happened upon a post on LinkedIn a friend wrote.
It was doing gangbusters.
Hundreds of likes.
Tons of comments.
Overflowing engagement.
Nailed it.
My immediate thought after I took it all in wasn’t, “Good for them.”
It was, “Huh, I wish that was my post.”
I was comparing my journey to theirs without blinking an eye. As a creative, it made me a little jealous. As a friend, it made me happy to see their success.
Both can happen at the same time and will.
—
No one is completely immune to comparison. We’re bombarded with ideas, and images, and stories all the time that will activate that part of us.
Instead, what we need to do as creatives is to remind ourselves of:
Who we are,
How far we’ve come
What we have to offer the world,
The potential we still have to offer the world.
There is no one right way to do or be anything.
Life is a “choose your own adventure” kind of story.
And we’re making it all up as we go.
3 Things to Remind Yourself When Comparison Anxiety Creeps In
Time - Your journey is on its own time. People do things at different times in their lives because of an infinite number of tiny choices and impacts from their environment.
Struggle - Just because someone presents themselves as something outwardly, it doesn’t mean that they’re not struggling with the same things you do. It’s just on their own terms. The grass isn’t always greener.
Experience - What you’ve done to get to where you are now is amazing. You should remember the work it took to make you into the awesome creative you are today. There is more work to be done certainly, but it took effort to get here. Embrace the good things too.
Final Thoughts
Comparison anxiety is real, but it doesn't have to hinder your success and happiness.
By embracing your uniqueness, practicing gratitude, setting realistic goals, and cultivating a supportive network, you can overcome comparison anxiety and thrive in your own creative journey.
Your worth as a creative professional is not determined by how you measure up to others, but by your own growth, creativity, and self-expression.
Embrace your individuality and focus on becoming the best version of yourself.
You’re doing great. 😁
TL; DR
Why Creatives are Prone to Comparison
Understanding Comparison Anxiety
Effects of Comparison Anxiety on Creative Pros
8 Strategies to Overcome Comparison Anxiety
No One is Immune to Envy
What to Remember Before You Compare
Quote of the Week
Motivation for the days ahead of you.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
— Theodore Roosevelt
That's all for now.
Stay creative, my friends—and have a great week!
