Finding Gratitude on the Path from Grief
Losing a loved one is can feel like a horrible trick of life.
Each day we have on this planet, we go about our lives in our own ways.
We meet people.
We have experiences.
We make connections.
We love.
We do those things, but then in an instant, someone important to us passes on.
The Call
On Friday March 25th, 2022 I got the call.
My goldendoodle and good boy of eleven years, Dexter, was gone.
Was Dexter a human?
No.
But he may as well have been.
We used to joke that if we put a shirt and a hat on him, we could take him almost anywhere and no one would know the difference.
Remembering Dex
The adorable muppet was everything to us.
My wife and I brought Dexter home at a critical time in both our marriage and our lives.
He was there to bring us joy.
He was there in my darkest hours with burnout—at a time when my whole world seemed to be crumbling in front of me.
As we’ve grown into adulthood, Dex has been there with us.
Until now.
Grief is a cruel price to pay and I’ve been paying it now for the last week.
A reminder here.
A reminder there.
And yet another that he’s gone.
Feel it
As I put the phone down (my wife was with him when he passed, but I wasn’t able to get there in time) I started crying—ugly crying.
I let myself feel it.
I owed him that.
It’s been a rollercoaster ride of positive thoughts and deep pangs of missing his bright, smiley face.
Working Through the Pain
To help me get through the anxiety-ridden grief, I’ve done a few things that I wanted to pass along to you in case you deal with a similar situation in your life.
Give yourself permission — The first thing I did was to let myself feel the emotions that came welling out of me. I didn’t suppress them. I didn’t need to search very far for them either. If I felt a wave of grief, I let it happen. I let it wash over me. The same goes for happiness and joy. I felt those too.
Write about it — As I mentioned earlier this month, I started back up with journaling (More on that experience later). The day after he passed away, I wrote about the experience. I just let stream of consciousness take over. I was able to take the emotions and give them a voice. I focused them into something that helped me understand my grief.
Be grateful — I was a wreck for several days. But the moment that I found balance was the day my wife said to me, “We were so lucky to have Dexter in our lives. He was the best dog we could’ve hoped for.” In that moment, I realized that nothing is forever. But the love that dog showed us in his eleven years is something that I will cherish for the rest of mine.
Final Thoughts
I don’t mean to gush about this boy of mine.
But I loved him dearly.
The grief has been a difficult path to follow, but the gratitude I found along the way will forever be a priceless gift in my life—a reminder of that love, not loss.
Until next week, here are links to what I’ve been working on and treasures I’ve found out in the creative wilderness I think are worth the look.
Enjoy!
Recent Finds
Smartless — Interview with Jerry Seinfeld (Podcast) | A fun and interesting conversation with the man, the myth the legend — Jerry Seinfeld. I loved hearing the tales of how Seinfeld came to be. For someone who arguably developed and shepherded one of the greatest creative projects of all time, Jerry is still working hard to be better.
Healthline — How to Cope with the Loss of a Pet (Blog) | As someone dealing with this right now, I found this blog post particularly helpful. If you or someone you know is dealing with the loss of a furry friend, I highly recommend sharing this article.
The Fab Story — 30 Ways to De-Stress (IG) | This post is a great reminder of how many things are out there in the world to help us remove stress from our lives. Some recent favorites from the list include: Laugh More, Doodle, Take a Walk. Check it out and try to do a couple today to help yourself relax.
Quote of the Week
“Grief is grief. It's a hole that can't be filled. But over time it will shrink enough so that you won't fall in every time you take a step.”
— Tim Bradford, The Rookie
That's all for now.
Stay creative, my friends—and have a great week!
