My Big Mistake (When I Started Trying to Balance My Creative Life)
Ever have trouble knowing what to do next?
You know something has to change, but you don’t know how to.
I’ve been studying self-development for years.
We all start from somewhere.
When I started working on myself, I had no idea what I was doing.
I made mistakes—a lot of them.
My big one?
I fell flat on my face when I tried to fix everything in my life at the same time.
But I made one critical choice that helped me bounce back.
Here’s how it went down.
My Big Mistake
April 2017.
I found myself sitting in a café, staring down at five books, hoping they held the answers to all my problems.
→ One on relationships.
→ One on business.
→ One on burnout.
→ One on mindset.
→ One on fitness.
I’d like to think a person who does something like this can only be described as one thing—lost.
I was tired, burned out, and broken.
Because of that, I was also a bit desperate.
I wanted a different life. A new one.
I knew I needed to make a change, but before I even got started, I was making a big mistake.
I was trying to change everything all at once.
I was using a “productivity hack” to make my self-care more efficient.
“If I change all of the things, I’ll never have to deal with them again!”
At least, that’s what I told myself.
It had the opposite effect.
Rather than solve one issue fully, I only learned surface qualities about many. I was trying to cram months or years worth of change into barely a week.
Nothing was actually changing.
It was clear that there was a difference between experimenting and becoming a multi-tasking octopus.
Learning about these things only gave me more anxiety.
Something needed to change, yes.
But it wasn’t every facet of my life.
It was the choice to focus down.
How I Fixed My Big Mistake
I stepped back.
I started with the most important thing first.
For me, there was one clear and painful item to address—Me.
More specifically, my health.
I was overweight.
The heaviest I had ever been in my entire life.
Even at 6’-4”, 315 lbs isn’t a great look.
→ Ok, health. Good.
→ Next, weight. Great.
→ Now what?
Focusing down was good, but there were still 100 things I could have changed in my health. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. From past experience I knew a simple truth—no amount of working out would overcome poor eating habits.
I was committed to changing my life.
I could see how many habits I’d need to get me to where I wanted to be.
But I knew that unless I focused in on one at a time, I’d never get there.
Then and there—I quit soda.
I went from several cans a day to zero.
Suddenly, 100s of extra calories per day were no longer part of the menu.
The funniest thing happened—I started losing weight.
I didn’t have to do much. My body didn’t have the same crazy amount of calories it did before. It had not choice but to change!
I started feeling better each day.
Suddenly, I thought, “I should go for a walk.”
I knew then that if I added a bit of action, some movement to my day, it could make the effects of cutting soda even more.
I didn’t have to run a marathon.
All I had to do was get moving.
I needed to get up and away from my sedentary desk life.
Six months later, I was a different human.
→ I made time for my marriage.
→ I created work boundaries.
→ I replaced my daily meals.
→ I build a gym routine.
→ I ran my first 5k.
→ I lost 75lbs.
It was like pushing a tiny snowball down a mountain.
Once it got going, everything else sort of clicked into place—building on the last
Find the Most Important Issue
What’s the most important, painful issue you’re facing right now?
What is the one thing that, if you did it, would make your life easier?
Less stressful?
More fulfilled?
Less chaotic?
I solved my problem by considering one issue at a time.
That path of self-development took longer. I’ll be honest, that can be kind of annoying to deal with. But the trade-off was that the change stuck.
When you go chasing quick wins you’re likely to find quick answers.
That doesn’t mean they’ll last.
I looked around at my life.
Most things were outside of my control.
But one thing wasn’t:
My next step.
Final Thoughts
When we imagine a better life, everything is up for grabs.
But in the moment, you’ll serve your future self better by drilling down to the most important issue first.
Build your future self slowly and well.
→ Build momentum.
→ Then build confidence.
→ Then seek new challenges automatically.
You don’t need to worry about where you’ll be a thousand steps from now, just the one in front of you.
TL; DR
The Issue: Getting started with personal development.
The Mistake: Trying too many things at once.
The Fix: Commit to 1 choice, habit, or action. Then start the next.
The Benefits: Make progress. Build confidence. Improve your life.
Quote of the Week
Motivation for the days ahead of you.
“What you focus on in your life grows.
What you think about expands.
And what you dwell on determines your destiny.”
— Robin S. Sharma
That's all for now.
Stay creative, my friends—and have a great week!
