Why self-awareness is more important to who you will become than you think
Do you know who you are—I mean, really know?
As humans, we roll careening right into adulthood with a set of skills, talents, mannerisms, tendencies, interests, experiences, and baggage.
Yay! to being an adult.
We’ve pursued things that interest us.
We’ve created distance from those that don't.
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But over time, we leave gaps between the pieces of our lives as we grow.
We recognize those gaps and can see them everywhere.
Often we simply choose to ignore the gaps and continue to soldier on through life.
Maybe you’ve let your health go.
Maybe you’ve neglected your relationships.
Maybe you’ve prioritized your career over everything.
Maybe you’ve experienced trauma or loss.
Maybe you’ve felt inadequate.
Everyone has gaps like these, but how do we fill them or prevent them from growing wider?
Awareness is the Key
Self-improvement fills the gaps to help us become better versions of ourselves.
But we can't fill the gaps until we recognize them for what they are and where they are in our lives.
Self-awareness is the light that shines on the gaps.
When we know and accept the person we are today, we can make better choices and prioritize our efforts. Without self-awareness, life can be chaotic and misdirected--like walking in complete darkness, hoping not to fall in the potholes as you go.
This image attempts to illustrate the difference between a life lived with self-awareness and one without.
Self-awareness helps us see the gaps for what they are. Then we get to choose whether to fill them or let them be.
Our interests
Our issues
Our bad habits
Our good habits
Our goals
Our motivations
Our purpose
So what if we do nothing?
Without self-awareness, we'll continue to make decisions haphazardly--hoping we don't fall in.
And time isn’t on our side.
The gaps will continue to widen.
The wrong kinds of gaps can reduce our mental and physical well-being, limiting the quality of our lives. One day, you might wake up and find that the gaps are too wide to navigate.
So how do we become more self-aware and start filling the gaps that are most critical?
3 Methods for How to Become More Self-Aware
Method #1 — Phone a Friend
We can be poor assessors of ourselves. Instead, seek advice and assessment from confidants, close friends, and peers who have your back. Let them know it’s okay to be as objective as possible. You’re not looking to get hurt, but you are looking to get real feedback about a particular area of your life.
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Method #2 — Journal
Our brains are first and foremost trying to protect us from pain and danger. While that’s great if you’re running away from a bear, it may be overkill when we’re trying to grow into a better version of ourselves. Journaling—or the act of writing down our thoughts and ideas in any format—helps to filter that extra layer of anxious or defeatist attitude swimming in our heads.
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Method #3 — Experiment
Put yourself in situations you’ve never been in before and see what happens. When our view of life is limited to what we’ve already experienced, it’s impossible to know what choices might better suit us. Ever taken dance lessons? Do it. Ever traveled somewhere random on a whim? Do it. Ever painted a self-portrait? Do it. The more you do things outside your comfort zone, the more you’ll learn about who you are or could be.
TL; DR
We make choices that form who we are as adults
Those choices leave gaps
Over time, the gaps can widen
Self-awareness identifies the gaps we should fill
Ask for assessments, journal, and try stuff to become more self-aware
Recent Finds
💡 Ideas from the creative wilderness to help you build a better life.
Health
Robynne Chutkan, MD (via Rich Roll Podcast) — The Link Between Sleep & Sickness (Video) | Food. Water. Sleep. — Adequately serving our basic needs allow us to live the lives we want to. I found this sentiment from Dr. Chutkan interesting because sleep is the easiest of these needs to forget in our busy lives. Sleep is one of the things I struggle with personally. I’ve been trying to work on better habits for sleep because of reminders like this one.
Career
Wes Kao — "Hey boss, what would you like me to do?” (LinkedIn) | This post from Wes is an important idea for setting the tone in an office. It may seem helpful in the moment to walk up to your supervisor or boss and ask them, “what’s next?” but it sometimes derails them, gives them anxiety, and keeps them from moving their own work forward. Instead, let them know what you’ve completed and suggest what you could do next. Some great tips here for sure.
Mindset
Tim Stodz — One More Step. (Video) | This is such a simple, but effective tip for getting to the end of the line. I’ve started incorporating it into my runs and it’s made all the difference as I increase the distance. The principle can be applied to almost anything—writing, designing, working—whatever you have right in front of you.
A Quote I'm Pondering
💬 Motivation for the days ahead of you.
“The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times…
The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.”
— Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, PhD
That's all for now.
Stay creative, my friends—and have a great week!
